I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
