i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
