I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
