someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
