I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
