i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Randomize
