so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
