quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Randomize
