Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
vagina is talking i cant
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
