You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize
