I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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