Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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