dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
