I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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