why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
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