So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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