so explain again why im purple
no
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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