and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
