You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
