i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I just had sex on a roof
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
