Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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