Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Come see our sink grown plant.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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