dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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