It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
