i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
