does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
