The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
