I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
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