Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
