The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
