at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
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