1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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