Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Randomize