Jerry, you need to find god
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
