Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
