Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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