Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Randomize
