his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
