There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
3 2 1 whiskey
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
