peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
