Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
