just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Randomize
