Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
