I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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