I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
