I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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