Pregnant stripper...not hot.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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