I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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