Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
