I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
